mis recuerdos~my memories

Dear Beli, one day you will be old enough to understand: 

August 23rd: I spoke with your Grandma Maria and I told her how your Great-Grandpa is in the hospital. We don't know if he will make it. We don't know how it all began. He was fine two weeks ago then a sudden pain and then a 5 hour surgery. Saturday all the family was together. There was much sadness in everyone's heart but Beli when they saw your smile and heard your giggles, well you made them smile. You radiate happiness and love that momentarly we all forgot about the sorrow in our hearts. We are not sure of the outcome, but Beli you will always hear me talk of your Dida Uros. When he saw you for the first time he embraced you with a warm hug and said, "seeing Beli makes me feel ten years younger." 

October 9: we had the opportunity to see and talk to Dida. We told him he had a strong will to live. He made it through 3 surgeries in less than a month. We made plans about his return to the farm. He replied, "slow, slow."

Un día cuando tengas la edad suficiente vas a entender esto: Hoy (23 de agosto) hable con tu Abuelita María y le dije cómo tu bisabuelito está en el hospital. No sabemos cómo empezó todo. Él estaba bien hace dos semanas, luego un dolor repentino y después una cirugía de 5 horas. El Sábado toda la familia estaba reunida.Había mucha tristeza en el corazón de todos, pero Beli cuando vieron tu sonrisa y escucharon  tu risa, pues tambien ellos sonrieron. Beli  irradias felicidad y tanto amor que momentariamente se nos olvidó el dolor en nuestros corazones. No estamos seguros del resultado, pero Beli siempre me vas a oir hablar de tu Bisabuelito Uros. Cuando te vio por primera vez dijo, " ver y estar al lado de Beli me hace sentir diez años más joven."

9 de Octubre: Tuvimos la oportunidad de ver y hablar con abuelito. Le dijimos que tenía una fuerte voluntad de vivir. Sobrevivio tres cirugías en menos de un mes. Hicimos planes acerca de su regreso al rancho. El respondio, "despacio, despacio."

Some of the photos we used (hubby's idea) to make a photo-movie in honor of Grandpa.

October 10, 2010
we will forever remember a Dear Son, Friend, Brother, Husband, Grandfather, Great-Grandfather.

....."Try to understand that I'm not longer living, rather surviving ,

waiting quietly for the inevitable arrival of my sad end. Don't be sad or angry nor feel helpless to see me like this. Give me your heart and love just like you did when you where born."--unknown author

Cuatro Generaciones

I feel very grateful  I had the opportunity to meet a great man. 
Siempre vas a estar en nuestros corazones.

FINDING A BALANCE

Gone are the days when I used to say, "I don't want to go to work tomorrow" as I enjoyed my coffee and a book at Tattercover, this was our routine on Sundays when both of us worked and our munchkin was in daycare. NOW we don't go to work and I am a full-time mommy. While I enjoy every minute of it sometimes I get stressed out, frustrated and impatient. Feelings I used to experience at my workplace. To those full-time moms out there I salute you, including my own mother. I have only been doing this for 3 consecutive months and already I feel worned OUT. I get lost in the routine and Elisa is no where to be found.

How to find a balance in caring for your little one? cleaning the house? learning a foreign language? AND still remain the WOMAN your husband fell in love with? Not the woman running around with no make-up or wearing the t-shirt with red food stains because you forgot to put an apron when preparing Spaghetti for Isabela. This is not me, and I will admit it is HARD for ME.

I LOVE my family and we are so fortunate to be having this experience:to BOND with our little one and watch her develop and be healthy. No more weekly visits to the pediatrician since we moved here. Beautiful home and minutes from the beach, and I am so BLESSED.What more can I ask for??