Let me describe scenario #1
Mommy: "It's time for your nap, lets find your medos."
Beli: "NO mimis!(sleeping).......DA-DDY!"
At the park:
Mommy: "It's time to go home."
Of course there are times when hubby scolds her and she runs to me for comfort. But why does one parent have to be the disciplinarian and the other the permissive? Maybe I need more patience? Or is this related to the toddler years when they're testing their boundaries? Or is it that she will always be Daddy's girl? (That's alot of questions in one paragraph hu?)
I found an article about children's parental preference and I quote,
"Whether it’s mom or dad who’s number one, favouritism isn’t personal it’s mostly about comfort.....with babies, toddlers and even preschoolers, it tends to be Mom who’s the favourite because she has usually been the provider of the majority of the comfort, (the breast or bottle, food and soothing). When children are upset — when they wake up in the night or get hurt — it’s usually mom who’s the comfort person.”
After reading the statement all I could say was, "Comfort? Beli is seeking comfort, then I'm not the mean Mommy?" But then I read farther down the article and it said that the child's temperament can also play a role. Now this also makes sense! Her personality tends to be similar to hubby's. I tend to be the disciplinarian, I just feel that if I don't intervene, cookies and ice-cream would be the preferred choice for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
How can I find a balance so she can realize that I can make her happy as well? I'm afraid I take after my Mother, which is not a bad thing, I love you Mama, but I do tend to overreact over little things. For example, "Beli didn't eat much today, just breakfast and a few snacks," I inform hubby. "Don't worry, tomorrow she will do better," is his reply. I guess I'm the one to set the limits while hubby listens and talks to her. I do have to admit that when we explain things, Beli cooperates versus if we tell her she has to eat or she has to sleep.
What do you think, am I being paranoid? What's your parenting style?