Monday, July 5, 2010

Go away Mommy I want DADDY

Even though she doesn't say those exact words, some days that's what she means. I try not to take it personally but as a Mother it does bother me and I begin to feel guilty.

Let me describe scenario #1

Mommy: "It's time for your nap, lets find your medos."
Beli: "NO mimis!(sleeping).......DA-DDY!"

Scenario #2

At the park:

Mommy: "It's time to go home."
Beli: "DADDY."

Of course there are times when hubby scolds her and she runs to me for comfort. But why does one parent have to be the disciplinarian and the other the permissive? Maybe I need more patience? Or is this related to the toddler years when they're testing their boundaries? Or is it that she will always be Daddy's girl? (That's alot of questions in one paragraph hu?)

I found an article about children's parental preference and I quote,

"Whether it’s mom or dad who’s number one, favouritism isn’t personal it’s mostly about comfort.....with babies, toddlers and even preschoolers, it tends to be Mom who’s the favourite because she has usually been the provider of the majority of the comfort, (the breast or bottle, food and soothing). When children are upset — when they wake up in the night or get hurt — it’s usually mom who’s the comfort person.”

After reading the statement all I could say was, "Comfort? Beli is seeking comfort, then I'm not the mean Mommy?" But then I read farther down the article and it said that the child's temperament can also play a role. Now this also makes sense! Her personality tends to be similar to hubby's. I tend to be the disciplinarian, I just feel that if I don't intervene, cookies and ice-cream would be the preferred choice for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

How can I find a balance so she can realize that I can make her happy as well? I'm afraid I take after my Mother, which is not a bad thing, I love you Mama, but I do tend to overreact over little things. For example, "Beli didn't eat much today, just breakfast and a few snacks," I inform hubby. "Don't worry, tomorrow she will do better," is his reply. I guess I'm the one to set the limits while hubby listens and talks to her. I do have to admit that when we explain things, Beli cooperates versus if we tell her she has to eat or she has to sleep.

What do you think, am I being paranoid? What's your parenting style?


  1. she sounds like one smart cookie. don´t sweat it. kids need rules- if not they´d be all over the place. (and miserable) and i think that this is pretty normal with the first child. by the second child- cookies and ice cream for breakfast will sound nutritious :)

  2. Hmm...She really is a smart cookie...I do agree Jane!
    I think if you both are on the same page and follow up with each task then maybe it will be better....One think I can tell That you are a wonderful mommy:)
    Kisses sweetie and have a wonderful Monday

  3. Thank you Jane and you are right on, she is a smart cookie. You are probably correct about her being the first born ,(we tend to be very protective of her)

  4. awww Diana you are so sweet thanks for the encouraging words.

  5. I have a little girl, too. Don't worry, as she gets older (mine is nine now) she'll start to relate to you so much more, with clothes and social situations, that he will be paranoid. However, she'll always be daddy's girl.

  6. Our daughters are in such a similar phase :) mine actually started saying 'go away' to me this past week. so when it's bath time she runs and says: 'mamae go away'. it's hard not to laught!

  7. @farmhouse it's very encouraging to hear this. I think I know what you mean about always being Daddy's girl.

  8. Thais, that's right, your little one just turned two. We will have to share stories more often then!

  9. Children are usually smarter than we think. I think they need discipline, not a military one,but the one you already teach your princess. I have a 2y old son who doesn't want to get me out of sight at all..although he listens to me,and not anybody else.
    I don't think you're paranoid,she'll get over it. and it's normal that you and your husband have different approaches,I think that is the good thing.
    ps,hope I said it well in English,I tried my best :)

    thanks for visiting me :)


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